24 Jun 2007
It's tempting to think that one specific person is out there for you, waiting to be found, promising you a life of bliss and relational ease. That person would be called a "soul mate". Movies help perpetuate this thought - Sleepless in Seattle, The Lake House... the idea is that the special someone may be tough to find, but once found, you'll live happily ever after.
Tough to believe anyone would be against the idea of "happily ever after". Isn't that what most of us want? But the idea of relational bliss can lead us to think that a relationship that takes work may not be worth it. If you actually have to talk things out with your spouse it must be that you're not meant for each other. Wouldn't soul mates already understand each other without any effort? "Happily ever after" isn't supposed to take work, just like the American dream nowadays - we're supposed to get something for nothing.
Obviously you should try to find a companion who you can get along with - maybe someone who shares some interests. It probably can't be someone who is the same as you. It should be someone who complements you (someone who adds to your existence... and someone who compliments you). But in the end, we're going to have to work at our relationships, admit our faults, say sorry, and sacrifice. I think love is out there for everyone. It's just that we'll have to work for it.