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Men's Health Made Easy - 5 Cents
Posted by: Paul Nichols

07 May 2007


So I've been out of the loop for awhile. That's what a new job'll do. (No, I didn't get fired from my former job for spending too much time writing articles for this site or "playing" fantasy baseball.)

 

Men's health. We think about it a lot. But we don't do a lot about it. Actually, guys will exercise to try and be fit. But we don't do a good job of eating right. So we try to cut corners. Instead of vegetables, we eat carrot cake. Instead of potatoes, we eat chips. Instead of dinner, we eat chocolate.

 

For decades (or whenever time began), the only real shortcut men had to healthy eating was getting married. But, providentially, a company started selling vegetable juice over 70 years ago. After selling 80 million gallons of the stuff to a combined 26 people, they decided to broaden their horizons and try to catch some dollars from some new demographics, namely, me.

 

For those who don't know, V8 juice is like tomato juice on steroids. Now get that image out of your head, because it's nothing like tomato juice on steroids - that's just the easiest and most common simile you'll hear describing the stuff. Alright, now put that image back...tomato juice on steroids is close enough - I'm just not witty enough to come up with another analogy. And, since I've only really tasted the stuff once while taking a dare in junior high, I have no serviceable recollection of its flavor.

 

So, anyway, V8 decided to reach out to the health nut in all of us (well, to those of us who haven't gotten married) with V8 Fusion (I think technically it's V.Fusion). V8 Fusion is vegetable and fruit juice combined into one hale and hearty amalgamation. When I first saw the ad on TV I perked up. "Hmmm, an easy way to substitute for potato chips in my diet?" I thought. Sold! So I sauntered down to the local try-n-save and ponied up $4 (FOUR!) to buy a little less than a half gallon of the stuff. Banana Strawberry flavored. Each 8 ounces has a full serving of vegetables and, I dunno, a whole bunch of sugar to make it manageable. They also threw in all the keywords: antioxidant, vitamins, American Heart Association. The less I have to think about healthy living the better. It actually doesn't taste too bad, either. I mean, if you can manage cranberry juice you won't have any problems with this stuff.

 

So kudos to you, V8 Fusion!

© 2007 Dime Brothers
Category: Food, Product Review,

Reader Comments:

other options
 
Yogurt seems to do a pretty good job too doesn't it? At the very least studies suggest that it neutralizes hint o lime tortilla chips...Another option is to chew your one-a-day vitamins, and then you get to actually taste all that healthiness as it goes down- delish!
08 May 2007
Tamdawg 
Juiced-up Water
 
That sounds like a product for me! Except that I'm married. So technically I should be eating healthy already. Is eating healthy enough or should I exercise, too? I'm not exercising as much as I did before marriage. I'm really confused and need help figuring out my life. Help me Health Guru!

Hilarious article. This needs to be spread around the infra-expressway.
08 May 2007
Mark 
Vitamins
 
I'm with Tamdawg. Take a vitamin each day and you can skip all of those expensive vegetables. What? You need fiber? Eat some soy cereal; that has fiber. With that combination, I can eat all the bacon I want!

And if anyone is wondering, my blood pressure is excellent. I had a physical less than a week ago. (seriously)
08 May 2007
Paul Best 
Campbell's Stock Up
 
Campbell's stock posted earnings of 45 cents per share today, 4 cents ahead of analysts' predictions. Campbells says it's due largely to increased sales of its V8 products.

See the influence our articles have?
21 May 2007
Paul 
V8
 
Dime Brothers' forecast for beating the analysts' predictions was... a couple "Nichols" over 41 cents per share.
22 May 2007
Mark 

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