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Thoughts I Thought I'd Share - 5 Cents
Posted by: Paul Nichols

30 Nov 2006


Let me try some thoughts of my own design:

 

1) I wish I had a gun and no morals. Actually, if I had no morals I wouldn't care about people doing stupid things. Just give me the gun.

 

I can't stand those guys on TV swindling people out of their money by selling health remedies that "the doctors are keeping to themselves." The conspiracy theorists make me sick. But these swindlers are smart because they see how they can swindle people. Unfortunately, intelligence and ethics got a divorce way back at the beginning of time. So I need a gun and a couple of addresses. See how my higher ethical standards mandate that I break the law???

 

2) I thought in 1996 or so: when you see a woman wearing black eyeliner, you can be certain that she smokes. That's all I've got on this one. Test the theory by asking people you see on the subway wearing eyeliner if they smoke! It's probably worth a slap across the face if you try!

 

3) If you've already been around the block, try finding a larger block.

 

Look, I'm not saying that your experiences aren't valid or important; I'm just trying to ward off the cynicism found in every 50-year-old in New England. I'm a long way from 50, but I'm ahead of the bell curve, so I figure I can have 50-year-old cynicism down by 30. If you've got life all figured out, more power to you. I hope you don't become cynical, pessimistic, or bored. If you find yourself living in New England, however, this may be difficult. So I suggest finding a different block to walk around, a bigger block to walk around, or just walking around the same block again.

© 2006 Dime Brothers
Category: Pet Peeves    

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